Ruminations. (aka: Masticate This.)


The End of the Honeymoon Period
August 2, 2007, 9:10 am
Filed under: being a grownup, relationships

Every relationship has one of these, or so I’m told. The first little while where everything just seems so perfect and there’s just nothing at all wrong with your partner and there’s just nobody else on this whole planet who could possibly complete you the way this person does.


The first time A and I were together, the whole seven months was pretty much honeymoon period. And with good reason, too. We pretty much are perfect for each other. But for whatever reason, honeymoon period and all, we split up when the going got tough (I’ll take the blame for that one – I am the resident commitmentphobe… or was, anyway).

We got back together in May, after a year of being friends, and I think we recently gave up our honeymooner status. Ignoring the fact that I am getting an awful crick in my neck from the way I am sitting, in order to accommodate his snuggling needs, I will explain.

I’ve been staying with A and his roommates (my best friend M, his best friends AR and R, and the guy nobody likes, MK) for a few weeks, while my mum and step-father visit family in Toronto. A and his roommates live in the city (Halifax), I work in a town that’s pretty much attached to Halifax, and the town I live in is in the next county over. So, because I’m the only 19 year old on the planet who doesn’t drive, the only way for me to get to work while my parents are gone is to stay in the city and take the bus. So here I am.

Anyway. I digress. The point is, it’s been two and a half weeks since I got here. A and I had our first real fight on Monday, and our second one last night.

So, I’m assuming that that signals the end of the honeymoon period. We’re now starting to notice each others flaws and idiosyncrasies, and are voicing our opinions of them. Which obviously kind of hurts sometimes.

I really dislike fighting with A. I love bickering and teasing, but real fighting makes me sad. I don’t like seeing him cry, which apparently I’m good at making him do. (Real tears, too, not guilt-trippy tears. I know the difference. I invented guilt-trippy tears.)

I would like to think this is a good thing. That it means that now we can grow as a couple, rather than stay stuck in some cryogenic state of lovestruck ignorance. If we can learn to figure each other out without the fighting, that would be great. And I admit, the onus is mostly on me in that arena, because A stays calm a lot longer than I do. I’m the first to yell and the first to storm off. But I’ll learn. He’ll teach me, and I’ll teach him other things.

Like how to snuggle in such a way that doesn’t impede my typing. 😉

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