Ruminations. (aka: Masticate This.)


That Distant Thing: the Future
July 11, 2007, 1:58 pm
Filed under: being a grownup

Is it normal to second guess every decision you make that has any bearing on your future career, life, and whatever else may or may not be affected? I would suppose so, uncertainty being a certain hallmark of humanity – or maybe that’s just me.

Now, for me, anyways, the Future is pretty far off. I’ve got at least 7 years of post-secondary education left, and it won’t really be until after then that I have to face the results of my decisions. But that’s the thing – I have to make those decisions now!

Can I really be expected to make a choice now that won’t have any bearing on my life until I’m almost thirty, without worrying that I’m making the wrong choice?

As it stands, I’ve declared my major (Microbiology and Immunology) , and I’ve decided that I will throw all my efforts into completing an undergrad, post grad, and doctoral degree in the aforementioned subject. I will then do research in AIDS, hepatitis, and other autoimmune deficiency illnesses, hopefully heading up my own lab and publishing lots of papers and finding a cure for everything that makes everyone sick (especially my mother, who has Hepatitis.) I will, of course, win a Nobel prize, and be remembered and respected.

What if I hate it? What if I’ve chosen the wrong field? What if I should have gone into English after all, since writing science fiction is one of the few things I actually truly enjoy? What if I’m so disappointed in my life that I hang myself at 30?

Alright, so, perhaps I need not be so melodramatic. My point is, I’ve made decisions and plans… but I’m only 19, and how do I know that I’ve made the right decisions and plans? How do I know that I’m not just doing this so that my mother is proud of me and not disappointed in me. I was ready to switch my major, I really was – the only reason I didn’t was the fact that my mother was so disappointed I thought she’d cry.

Am I doing the right thing? Does it even matter, as long as I can make some sort of difference?

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